This is May

This is May. The temperatures are rising. The birds are chirping. The flowers are blooming…mostly the dandelions in the yard because we haven’t gotten even gotten the mower out or gassed or oiled or whatever you’re supposed to do to summer-ize your mower LET ALONE taken steps to spray weed killer. We are the asshole neighbors. Sorry.


This is May. The garden has already been abandoned, left to the dandelions until school is out and I have time to do something to combat the scads of bunnies who love to bang in the garden and nest under the zucchini leaves.

RIP last year’s useless fence.

This is May. Every time I lose something I check my hands and my head first because I’ll never get that 10 minutes of time back from last week (keys are tricky).

The place the keys are supposed to hang…unmistakably empty

This is May. My 6 year old told me she didn’t get free choice at school because she didn’t do her worksheets. Then she informed me she’s not going to do any more worksheets. Ever. Her teacher’s going to be getting a good end of year present (PS she just walked in the door while I was writing this and I confirmed she’s on day 2 of no free choice. Her folder is empty which means she’s still on worksheet strike. Sigh.).


This is May and maybe her teacher won’t get a good present because our bank account has been depleted from paying for camp and swimming lessons and all new clothes because they just. don’t. stop. growing (and apparently neither do I…stupid Girl Scout cookies).

Don’t judge me. 

This is May. My calendar is full. I know my calendar is full. There are field days and class programs, dance pictures and birthday parties, church programs and Girl Scout meetings. Yet…

Super helpful, right?

This is May where even if I want to update my calendar this is the last of my pens and only 1 of them works reliably. Also none of them is a chalk marker.

The pencil is for erasure purposes only because…

This is May. Just…why???


This is May. We stopped doing crafts somewhere around mid February.


This is May and we’re keeping McDonald’s in business because this is the extent of our meal planning.


This is May. It’s 3:12 and my 3 year old just asked me if I wanted beer. The answer, sweetheart, is yes. Yes I do.


This is May. It is not for the weak. For all my fellow struggling parents, hang in there my friends.

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