A blog about mental health, self acceptance, and embracing all the magnificentally awkward moments along the way.
When does it happen? When do we start to lose our confidence...our belief that we are good and worthy and capable? Does it happen all at once? Or is it death by a thousand cuts? I think confidence is like a candle. How long it burns comes down to myriad factors: the size of the … Continue reading Confidence is like a Candle and I Think I’m from the Dollar Store
I think somewhere out there are mothers who smell the way I thought motherhood would smell; of vanilla and fresh baked bread and warmth. I am jealous of these mothers. My own motherhood smells like the onions of a thousand meals permeating cracked skin--a thousand refused meals prepared lovingly or automatically or bitterly depending on … Continue reading The Smell of Motherhood
To say I'm disappointed is an understatement. In the last 3 days I lost 10 blog subscribers. 10. For a fledgling blogger with a very small following this felt absolutely devastating. For a brief moment I went into full on dramatic panic mode...what if this was the real message from above? A giant, blinking neon … Continue reading Staying Curious in the Face of Disappointment
Today I wasn't going to write because I had nothing deep or insightful to say. I tried. I watched an incredibly moving speech. I read inspirational quotes. I started delving into a post that would have been deep in subject but shallow in sincerity; it would have been my representative writing what she thought people … Continue reading Thanksgiving Neurosis
When I was younger I, and everyone around me, assumed mental illness was just a place you visited. If you just saw the right therapist for long enough and maybe kicked it in gear with a little temporary pharmaceutical assistance, you'd pack your bags, hop on the happy bus and arrive back in the land … Continue reading Medicated
As I fumbled through the dark to the tent where race packets were being handed out, it struck me how woefully unprepared I was for the day. All around me runners were toting large, plastic tubs filled with supplies for the day: bagels, tortillas, extra gu, instant coffee, spare socks, backup shoes, shirts, bandannas, glide, … Continue reading My Ultra Marathon Christening: Icebox 480
I've eaten close to 2 lbs of halloween candy today because when it comes to candy I have no chill. None. Zero. I can feel like death warmed over and it wouldn't matter. Hell I do feel like death warmed over and I'm still shoveling candy in my face hole. Some day my kids will be … Continue reading Halloween Candy and I Have Problems (plus NANOWRIMO starts NOW!)
Growing up our house was always clean. Not the sterile-hovering behind you with a towel while you drank juice-Stepford wives kind of clean, but the comfortable-homey-warm kind of clean. The kind of clean where you knew you could still make messes but you never felt that itchy, claustrophobic feeling that comes with chaos and clutter. … Continue reading What I Mean when I say I’m Giving Up
An Awkwardly Magnificent Life 