Mom Tinder Part 3 or I Can’t Make Technology Go

Check out part 1 and 2 of my harrowing exciting story first.

Beer break over I returned to find I had enter in my kids ages to find people with kids of a similar age. Easy peasy! The rest of this was going to be a breeze, right? Wrong. The next step was to pick 3 descriptive categories called “packs” for myself. Only 3. Your choices are things like, “wine time”, “coffee addict”, “crafty”, “routine queen”, “hot mess”, “fashion killa”,  and “bidet connoisseur” (just kidding I made that last one up. The others are all real). But what if you’re basically all the things? What if I’m a crafty, geek chic spiritual gangsta who’s into coffee, wine, beer and is thereby a total hot mess? Too bad so sad, you get 3. Choose wisely.

After consulting my husband and a less than sympathetic cat, I picked my 3 descriptors (for the curious I chose wine time, fitness fiend and crafty). Let the fun begin, it was time to get my swipe on!

 

Onto problem numero seven (actually I don’t know what problem number we’re on at this point. I lost count). The act of swiping (called “waving” on Peanut) is utterly counter intuitive and I wound up waving at people to whom I wouldn’t even give the time of day (lies. It’s far more likely they wouldn’t give me the time of day. I’m the first to admit that any “all organic” mama would be horrified at my children’s haphazard and decidedly NOT organic eating habits. So really, it’s not you, organic mama! You’re probably amazing! It’s me not wanting to subject you to me and my children’s affinity for all things artificially colored).

Anyways, unlike Tinder where you apparently swipe left and right (I haven’t checked) on Peanut you swipe up to “wave” and down to “pass”. Except I kept swiping up to look at more of the person’s profile. Nope, doesn’t work. You just waved at the person whose only picture is a llama and is probably that 50 year old dude I was talking about earlier.  One has to actually tap on a profile to go to a different screen where one can then scroll through the full bio.

*Bangs head on desk repeatedly

Full disclosure, there is a way to undo it if you accidentally wave at someone but I was the kid in class who always skipped ahead in the reading and missed vital directions so in true form I totally missed that part.

Eventually I got the hang of it and found a small handful of moms I thought would be a good match. I waved and (drum roll…….) nothing happened. Turns out they have to wave at you too before you can start a conversation. Womp womp. Underwhelmed but undaunted I went about my day, positive I’d soon have a whole inbox of waves waiting for me by the end of the day.

 

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