What I was going to write, pre-blognameaggedon

Ok so what I was TRYING to say in my CORRECTLY NAMED blog today was this.

I got to do an interview for the Half Size Me show! If you haven’t checked out this podcast or the community I highly recommend doing so (I even made it super easy by putting in a link. Yay me).  It’s life changing and I’m not even being paid to say this.  I just really love the show and Heather is my hero and pretty much the Mother Theresa of weight related podcasts.

Anyways, the interview gave me a chance to talk about weight loss maintenance, an oft overlooked aspect of losing weight that desperately needs a stronger voice in the dialogue of weight loss. Some people know, though not many because I’m still my only follower, that I kind of lost a small crap ton of weight (over 100 lbs). I’ve had body image issues since I was 6 and a history of unhealthy choices that would make your hair curl. If you want to hear all the dirty details I’ll let you know when the episode airs but warning, it gets a little dark. I figure you can’t have the magnificence without the darkness, right?

But in all those years of dieting ups and downs I never considered what maintenance would look like. I never thought I’d ever actually get to a point of maintenance if I’m being honest. So in this last (and FINAL) weight loss journey I’ve had to do some hard and fast learning on what maintenance would look like for me. And you know what came up over and over?

Who the hell am I if I’m not losing weight?

See when you’ve been weight obsessed for 27 years it becomes ingrained in you. Weight loss, personality, likes/dislikes, identity…they all become so enmeshed it’s seemingly impossible to unravel “weight loss Emily” from “real Emily”. Maintenance thus far, and I’ve been maintaining about a year at this point, has become less and less about healthy habits (those are pretty much automatic at this point so long as I give myself some gentle reminders here and there) and more about figuring out how to eke out my true, authentic self.

Terrifying. I’m almost 33 years old and as far as who I am? I feel like my 4 year old has a better sense of identity than me.

So a word of advice. If you’re trying to lose weight right now, think long term. Consider maintenance. Consider  life without weight loss and start planning now. It’s going to be far less shocking when you get to your goal.

If you, like me, are in the maintenance phase and struggling, solidarity my friend. I feel you. We’re in this together and we will figure it out.

And if you’re in maintenance and you’ve figured all this out already? In the words of my father, take a long walk off a short pier.

Just kidding, PLEASE WRITE A BOOK! And give me all. the. tips. ever. And maybe let me borrow a little bit of your brain. I think brain transplants are a thing…are brain transplants a thing??? I definitely think they could be a thing.